Social Network Etiquette
What Are The Set Of Rules For Social Networking? Do They Actually Exist?
It seems like every social activity is accompanied by a set of rules. Have a date with someone new? How many days are you supposed to wait until you call them? Attend a lovely party? Is it proper to send a handwritten thank you note or will an email suffice? A good friend is getting married? Are you expected to bring a gift to the engagement party, shower, bachelor/bachelorette party and to the wedding as well? Every function comes hand in hand with its own conundrum.
Including, of course, social networking. I readily admit that I have no idea what the rules are for Facebooking, Tweeting, Tumblr-ing (is that one even a verb yet?), etc. Case in point: I was out the other night with a couple of friends and they wanted to “check in” on Facebook. They attempted to “tag” me in the check in, but my name didn’t pop up. “Oh, I disabled that feature,” I explained. “Well,” my friend teased, “Aren’t you just too cool for school?”
Am I? I’m definitely not trying to prove anything; I just don’t feel like my entire friend list needs to know where I am at any given time. Am I committing some sort of social “faux pas” by not checking in or letting other people check me in? Does anyone actually care where I am on a random Tuesday night? My guess is no, but we’ve become such an interactive and tell-all society that my desire to stay off of the proverbial grid may be doing more harm than good. We use social networking sites to stay relevant in the minds of our friends or followers. As the old adage says, “Out of sight, out of mind.”
We Need The Social Network’s Book Of Etiquette Etiquette Website
Another veritable mine field of social networking? The friend request. Whether you’re the one sending them or receiving them, friend requests can cause the sweaty palms and racing heartbeat that once accompanied the attempt to call the object of your affection. There are just so many things to consider! You’ve met a new person. They’re on Facebook and you think it would be nice to be “friends” with that person. Not so fast! Who is supposed to make the first move? You think that the other person should make the move, but maybe they’re expecting you to reach out first. Moreover, how long are you supposed to wait before sending a friend request? No one has written a “Rules” type handbook for social networking. Too bad Emily Post is no longer around. Can you imagine the bestseller potential of a book on social network etiquette, written by none other than the “Queen of Etiquette” whose name happened to be “Post”? Get it? Post?
Moving along, of course, there are also the friend requests that you don’t want. While waiting for an elevator one day, I was scrolling through my phone. My boyfriend peered over my shoulder. “Oh, hey, you have two friend requests,” he said. “Why aren’t you responding to them?” “Oh, I, um, didn’t see them,” I said lamely. The truth? I didn’t want to accept them, but I didn’t want to decline, either. Declining a friend request feels so mean. You’re literally saying to someone “Nope, I don’t want to be friends with you.” So what are you to do? If you’re like me, you let them sit in friend request limbo. Perhaps a little passive aggressive, but not as harsh as a flat-out refusal.
Between the friend request paradox, the constant games of tag (be they locations or pictures) and the knowledge that your life is on display, it’s no wonder that people are starting to declare, “TMI!” (too much information). I don’t care who you are or how much I love you, I really do not need to see you giving birth. Come on, folks. Let’s keep those privacy settings on lock.
image: empoweredonlineentrepreneurs.com
